we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
