two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
no you cant smoke seaweed
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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