if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
