This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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