I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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