so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
