You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just found puke in my bra..
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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