I'm gonna have a badass scar
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
