Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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