I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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