i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
