New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
