So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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