I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
