They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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