Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
