this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
