I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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