Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
