just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
