she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
