allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
