I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
