4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
