Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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