I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
no you cant smoke seaweed
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
