Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
