The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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