There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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