I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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