you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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