I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
