I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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