I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
