Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
honey bunches of taint.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
