Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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