So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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