It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
