It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
