Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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