wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
