Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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