I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
