Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
