so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
