Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
