i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
