Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
