Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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