i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
