we have officially mastered the walk of shame
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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