I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
