and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
